This Healing Don't Whisper.

This post is written from my experience with Christianity, but the pressure I’m speaking about exists in many belief systems. It’s like being in a toxic relationship. You’re doing all the right things, trying to make it work, and the other person picks and chooses when they want to "show up."  Somehow, it’s still your fault when things don’t work. That’s what the version of faith I was taught started to feel like. The pattern was all too familiar.  We’re told to accept things in our spiritual lives that we’d never accept in a real one: silence, waiting, feeling ignored, being told to try harder when it already feels like you’re giving everything you have. Somehow, we call that “faith.” No. No one really has the answers, but this is where we are. Are we truly being faithful, or are we just "brainwashed," and too afraid to question it because we’ve been told that’s what obedience looks like? These are thoughts I have sometimes. It has nothing to do with "The enem...

Why is it that when someone talks with a little more energy or edge, people start acting like it’s a problem? Like something’s wrong with you just because you don’t sound soft or flat.  What annoys me most is how people act like we’re all supposed to react or sound the same. Same words, same tone of voice, etc. Last time I checked, we were made DIFFERENT on purpose.  People aren’t supposed to be carbon copies. We process differently. We cry differently, laugh different, feel different, and react differently. It’s time we stopped treating differences like a problem that needs to be fixed. You don’t get to define my volume just because you're flavorless. Some of us were made with fire in our voice.  I’ve spent too much time being misunderstood. Not because I wasn’t clear, but people can be so closed-minded. My voice carries. My reactions are strong. My presence doesn’t sit in the corner waiting to be invited. I’m not loud, I’m expressive. I’m not dramatic, I’m awa...

  Look. Healing isn’t some quiet, soft, Zen thing for me. If you’re waiting for me to meditate through everything, Nope . It doesn't work like that for me. Healing for me meant becoming the badass I always knew I was deep down. Badass in the sense that I finally say what I feel. I stand on it. I trust it. Healing for me was about finding calm when I needed it, but also being the storm when I had to be. It wasn’t about becoming soft. It was about finally choosing peace for myself, no matter how I had to show up. Now, I demand peace on my own terms, and yeah it’s not always pretty. For the longest time, I tried to be the one who kept things cool, kept everyone happy, kept things quiet. But that wasn't peace. That was survival. I didn’t come this far just to keep surviving. Healing made me stand my ground, speak my truth, and refuse to take shit from anyone. I’m not here to be nice. I’m not here to tiptoe around people’s feelings. I’m here to exist fully, unapologetically, and wi...